Monday, June 1, 2009

Man Twitters and is attacked by tree

Human behavior is changing at a blistering pace.

Why, someone in Starbucks held the door for me today and actually waited until I could grab the door from him, rather than letting it swing tantalizingly before I could get there.

However, a British office worker called James Coleman has pointed us toward the perils of over-committed tweeting. According to a report in the Telegraph, Coleman, 23, was jogging when he suddenly felt the enormous uncontrollable urge to pull out his BlackBerry and Twitter.

Perhaps you have experienced a similar sensation. The buttocks tighten, the eyebrows begin to quiver and your hand reaches into the pocket of your tracksuit, desperate to clutch your most precious jewel.

You grab your BlackBerry with the intention of informing your 25 followers that you have, indeed, just reached into your pocket to grab your BlackBerry while jogging.

Should there be "Danger. No Twittering" signs?

(Credit: CC Angelin Richmond/Flickr)

Coleman, as almost everyone on the streets of Manhattan, temporarily lost sight of his own proportions.

Twitter can do that to you.

Before he could even finish his tweet, he thought he might have temporarily lost sight in an eye. Even more strangely, he was lying on the sidewalk and his head was beginning to throb.

Had a passerby, appalled at this arrogant thrust towards modernity, karate-chopped him to the ground? No, it was a tree. More precisely, a substantial, low-hanging branch that decided to play lumberjack.

"I could only see through one eye for a couple of days afterwards, but the swelling has started to go down now," Coleman told the Telegraph.

The experience hasn't, however, dampened Coleman's enthusiasm for ensuring that his 27 followers stay close to his footsteps, as well as his missteps.

Monday morning, he tweeted: "I am somewhat disappointed that my 15 minutes of fame stem from running into a tree whilst tweeting..."

Sir, but we are not disappointed. You have taught us so much. You have made us think very carefully about the wisdom of jogging and tweeting. However, you don't seem to have been put off by your own Twittering headbanging.

As I see that your latest tweet reads: "Running home--looking out for curbs, lamp-posts, cars, trees and all things stationary and moving :)"

Oh, Coleman, I am worried for the future of British business.

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